Why my Daughter’s Hair is a Labor of Love

As a bi-racial mommy with a black husband, I knew our daughter’s hair would be like a box of chocolates.  Would she have loose, wavy curls like mine? Or would she have springy, soft spirals like our niece? I had a bit of a complex about it since my own mother struggled with my hair care needs when I was a child.  So when we learned our second baby would be a girl, I bought a bunch of pink stuff and prayed for hair I could comb.

She came out and surprised us all.  Not only could I comb it, but it was RED?!  (The Hubby and I both have dark hair). Then it turned BLONDE!  Say what?!
Needless to say, from the very beginning I was learning what it’s like to mother a girl-child.
Boys don’t get it.  Hair is a big deal, and it can help represent so much of real-life:

Dry Shampoo:  Busy mom who (wisely) chose the snooze button over the shower but still wants to look like a million bucks.
Wet Hair:  She made it to the shower, but had to get to carline and avoid the 5th tardy this month.
Messy Bun:  Relaxed and stylish mom who can rock the boardroom and the playroom.
Sexy Blowout:  Kids are at school, Dad’s at work, and she took the day off.

So with much respect and a will to not be “that mom”, I vowed to care for my daughter’s hair.  And man, it is high maintenance!

As a baby, all that “back is best” sleeping rubbed a smooth, shiny bald spot in the back of her head.  She looked like a tiny, smiley old man.

As a toddler, her soft curls just needed a little spray bottle and a bow.  Everything was easy and adorable.

As a preschooler, she started to notice how Brynn’s hair was long and straight and hers was always in puffs.  I therefore allowed for her first blowout, and she looked way too grown. We went home and added a bow.

In pre-k, her hair suddenly changed and it was dry and breaking all the time.  A friend taught me the LOC method and I spent every weekend watching YouTube videos and twisting her hair.

As a Kindergartner, I got wise and started paying people to twist her hair.  She wanted braids and beads like Zoe, which were great while I was in China for work.  But after 3 hours of taking them out, a hand cramp, and too many tears, I wasn’t sure it was worth it.

This hair journey is just that.  Full of ups and downs, key learnings, correction of errors, tips and tricks, and countless videos and text chats.  Our daughters are smaller, sweeter, more optimistic versions of ourselves, and we want them to look good! But the mornings are too busy, the weekends are too short, and as soon as we have it figured out, these girls change the game and we start all over.

But be encouraged mama!  That hair you’re caring for is a labor of love.  You’re teaching her self-care, and expression all while getting some quality mommy-daughter time.  She’ll always remember the scalp massage, the bubbles in the bath, the silly conversations, and the love you’ve shown by making her a priority.

And don’t feel guilty when you ask God to make your next baby a boy.

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One Response to Why my Daughter’s Hair is a Labor of Love

  1. Raysha April 13, 2018 at 4:08 pm #

    After two daughter with drastically different textures from each other and mine, I was so GRATEFUL for my boy baby!!

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