The range of emotions that women feel while waiting for a positive sign on a pregnancy test can be overwhelming. There is excitement, hope, anxiety, worry, and the list goes on. There are also many questions that come to mind: Am I ready to be a Mom? Will I get the support and help needed from my partner/family? And, if you relocated to Northwest Arkansas, you may ponder whether you should I move back to you hometown to be closer to family?
In those few minutes waiting for the pregnancy test to progress, time stands absolutely still. The outcome of the test may determine the next phase of your life. Actually, it determines the rest of your life. What happens when the results are not what you expected? You secretly hoped for a positive sign that never appeared. No one may know what you experienced so you quietly process the disappointment alone or with your partner/spouse.
You may relate to this story. If not, someone you may know has experienced the sadness after waiting for a positive sign. This is why we have to be careful not to put added pressure on women by asking when they hope to get pregnant and have another baby. Hope is only a small part of it. Let’s not take away the opportunity to navigate this privately (if that’s what we choose).
For some reason, it’s not uncommon to ask other women on her womb status. Even if the Mom doesn’t respond right away, the heat turns up with comments on how they aren’t getting younger so they need to get started right away. This is stated with no regard or thought that maybe something is preventing the couple from conceiving.
I have watched women squirm in discomfort from the barrage of questions about conception. I am one of them. Motherhood for me didn’t begin until after 4 years of marriage. I remember a lot people asking when we would become pregnant. People assume you don’t want children. You’re too “busy” with your career, your selfish, your marriage is failing, etc. It was not that we didn’t want children but rather we experienced issues trying to conceive. The constant disappointment makes you start questioning your body’s ability, God’s plan and if there were specific choices or related consequences that lead you down this path.
It is a very serious and emotional topic to discuss and every woman should be given the gift of privacy. Since most people lead discussions with talking about their kids, a woman that is unable to have a child feels isolated and alone for the moment. If you are concerned about being able to have a successful pregnancy speak to a medical professional. Whatever you do, please speak to someone about your feelings. Don’t suffer in silence. You may find out that your story will encourage someone else or you are part of a community of women that had challenges but overcame them. Stay positive and believe that things could change.
To help make all women feel comfortable, let’s pause and think before we assume & ask questions on why they haven’t had a child yet. We do not know their struggles. Maybe one day they will share it with us. Until then, you can pray for them, love them and be supportive as they live through the emotions as they wait for a positive sign.