As women, we do it all. We get the groceries and gas up the car. We sweep the floor and vacuum the rug. We wash the dishes and bake the casseroles. We put Band-Aids on boo-boos and plant kisses on foreheads. We wipe tears from plump cheeks and whisper words of encouragement into the ears of babes. We hold hands inside our hands and count 10 little piggies until we can count them in our sleep. We listen to fears and replace them with wishes. And we do it all because that is what mamas do.
We share labor stories and epidural fails. We swap middle-of-the-night ‘my kid won’t sleep’ sagas hoping we’ll hear someone else’s whose is a little bit worse than ours. If we get real close, we’ll talk about breastfeeding and how it was one of the hardest things we’ve ever had to do and then she’ll say, “me too.” We’ll get knee deep into just how scary depression is and realize we both had post-partum. We’ll talk failures and regrets. We’ll offer grace when it’s desperately needed because mothers are always the hardest on themselves. One of us might even tell the other about a failed marriage in the hopes there will be a soft place to land in the midst of a gut-wrenching realization.
You might be the lone fighter in a marriage that inevitably takes two to complete. As wives, we carry the burden of the entire family’s happiness. We think everything is ours to take care of because we easily fall into that role. We start out as young women with hopes and dreams and we marry young men who long to call us their brides. We make babies and start chipping away at our future with one another all while trying to maintain a healthy marriage. But, then one slips away and before you know it, years have gone by, your kids have gotten a little bit older and your union is a fragile road you’re afraid to walk down.
“I’m Good” becomes nothing more than just a handful of small innuendos that we hope the other person won’t be able to read all over our face. Sometimes, “I’m Good,” is just another way of asking for help in all the wrong ways. I have an idea. Rather than saying, “I’m Good,” let’s starting saying what we really mean. Let’s start saying, “I’m okay today. I’m sad today. Today has been a hard day. Today has been amazing. I’m happy. I’m tired. I’m blessed. I’m scared. I’m unhappy. I’m stressed out. I need help.”
Let’s be women helping other women be their authentic selves. Let’s allow ourselves to live in the now with transparency to allow other women to be free from whatever is holding them back. Let’s read past the, “I’m Goods,” and move on to the harder words like, “I need help.”
You know that circle of friends you have? Nurture them. Nurture those friendships. Those women will be your lifelines when you’re drowning, your hugs when you need love, your forgivers when you need grace, and your cheerleaders when you’re ready to throw in the towel.
As women, we can’t help but reach out when we see someone else hurting. Let’s be the people who help each other out even when our friends say, “I’m Good.”