I’m at my wit’s end. It’s Sunday night at 9pm and it’s the first time I have sat down today (minus church). The only reason I am sitting is because I have work to do for my paying job. I am exhausted. Besides the fact that I have done so much, I have so much left to do. There are messes everywhere and I just can’t tonight.
I have seen numerous news articles about moms working 98 hours a week, with her day starting at 6:23am. Mine starts at 5, so lucky for me, I surpass 100 hours a week. And I still have things to do. Things, which will likely never get done, unless I take a vacation day from my paying job.
It’s downright depressing, frustrating and discouraging. I have to constantly remind myself to not feel like a failure. I find clutter and messes suffocating and as much as I hate not finishing a project, I really hate not starting one that needs to be done (cough cleaning out play room cough).
Today, while cursing the world and in a complete tiz, I remembered how important it is to have perspective. I fought it for a minute but the longer I thought about it, I realized I needed to get over myself.
I see a mess: too many clothes, toys everywhere, an unorganized pantry, a messy car, grass that needs to be mowed, and house that has too much “stuff”.
While others may see, beautiful clothes for every occasion, a blessed beautiful child with lots of toys to play with, food – lots & lots of food, a new(er) SUV with ample room, an awesome yard for kids to play in and a house filled with more than enough things to make it into home.
You see, when I stopped feeling overwhelmed and sorry for myself, I realized there are so many people who would be grateful to have my mess. My 3 year old who tests my patience? He’s a blessing. There are so many people who would LOVE to have a child. My husband? So many women want a loving husband so badly and I have a really good one. My job? So many people are without a job or hate theirs, while mine is something I like to do and it affords us the ability to do so much. My messy car? I am blessed to have a car (plus I love that thing). My disorderly closet? Do you know how many people would love to have multiple outfits and shoes?
Being a working mom is hard. You will never get through that to do list & there will always be messes. And that can feel so overwhelming (especially if you’re a type A, like me). Honestly, whether it’s an exaggeration or not, working 100+ hours a week is mind boggling. But the one thing that will be my biggest regret of all is not feeling grateful today for those blessings.
They say one day we’ll miss this so I refuse to miss out on it…messes & all.
(Told ya, messes for days!)