This Valentine’s Day, my husband got me the best card he has ever given me. It wasn’t a long love letter, or a side splittingly funny riddle. It simply said this,
“Sometimes in the craziness of life, it can seem like it’s hard to connect like we used to. Know this is just a season, and I adore you.”
Y’all, I teared up. No card has ever so perfectly summed up the emotions we can sometimes feel in this married-with-children life.
When you have a child, it can become so easy to get consumed in the chaos of the day-to-day. Everyone up, get ready, breakfast, out the door, work all day, home, dinner, bath, bed. Not to mention the hiccups thrown into that perfect outline: the cranky toddler, the misplaced lunchbox, the chicken you forgot to thaw, the bedtime that is fought tooth and nail.
It’s not unusual for my husband and I to crawl into bed at 9 p.m., and question whether or not we’ve had a single uninterrupted conversation that day.
And while I wouldn’t trade my family of three for a thing in this world, there are lots of times where I look at my spouse and go, “Didn’t we used to be more fun?”
I miss the games of Monopoly that were played late enough to make a trip to Starbucks the next morning an essential. I miss the conversations that weren’t dominated primarily by whose picking the kid up and when do we need to drop this off at school, or who has to work late that night. I miss the way we would laugh constantly at jokes that would probably make my grandmother roll in her grave.
But this is adulthood; this is life. And while I do miss spontaneous date nights, there’s so much sweetness in where we are now. Watching my husband become a father has been the joy of my life, and dang, is he good at it. We still sneak in those same jokes, now quietly whispered with stifled giggles. I make sure he has a hot breakfast, and he in turn does bath time so I can fold a load of laundry and enjoy a glass of wine in (relative) peace.
In this season, where we are pouring so much of ourselves into every area, whether it be kids or job or home, it was so incredible to look at my spouse and realize he gets it. That we both can smile, and without saying a word, recognize that this is just a season, and the day will come where we will look back and miss what we currently call normal.
So for now, we’re finding love in the stolen moments of the fast-paced everyday. We’re not the newlyweds anymore, but let’s be honest, those two didn’t know how deep love could really be anyways. There’s romance to be found anywhere if you look for it, even if it’s just in the breakfast waiting for you at the table, or the sounds you hear coming from bath-time.