To the Stay at Home Mom. Love, the Working Mom.

Hey there Stay at Home Mom. 

I gotta ask, are you offended by that descriptor?  I’m pretty sure I would be if my full time job was to raise my 3 children.  Cause I’m also pretty sure there’s not a lot of “staying” at all.  Maybe I’d prefer to just be called a “Mom“…. “Working Mom” is of course redundant.  I see you planning the days and teaching your kids.  Feeding them organic options and raising gardens.  I see you reading books and building Legos.  Then you somehow make the time to go for a run and make your Hubby’s favorite dinner.  

All of that is work.  Intentional work that makes for happier humans.  And the world gets the benefit.

All of the choices we make when it comes to raising our kids requires work.  Your workplace is your home, and mine is an office building.  You get paid in precious memories and kisses.  I get a bank deposit and a 401K.  I can’t really think of many other significant differences, except maybe yoga pants….which is where you are certainly the clear winner.

Having a career and raising a family is the most challenging and rewarding experience of my life.  I take so much pride in breaking glass ceilings and encouraging other mamas to do the same.  I’m teaching my daughter that she can do anything she puts her mind to, and my sons how to love a successful woman.  This is the silver lining of exhausting days and self-doubt, but the truth is I don’t really have any other choice. 

Being a Stay at Home Mom has never been an option for me.  It’s more like a pipe dream.  I’m the first in my family to go to college, with student loans and a bank account that started at zero.  We paid for our own wedding.  We saved for our own houses and cars.  We deposited the first dollar for retirement.  And if I want my own children to have the choices I never had, I need a paycheck.

So when I see you making fruit trays in the shape of Elmo and traveling the country to watch your son’s baseball games, I feel a sense of hope.  How blessed you are to invest the time I’ll never have in these sweet kiddos.  To build relationships with other mamas in your neighborhood who take you on bike rides and listen to your deepest secrets over a bottle of wine.  To lead the 10 AM PTO meeting for your daughter’s school and plan the next Muffins with Mom event.  I see the way your daughter looks at you when you walk in the room, never a doubt or worry that you’ll always be there for her.  And I hope I get some of the same.

I know the grass isn’t greener, but it sure looks nice.  I hope you’ll think of me and maybe next time invite that career mom who can’t wait to shed the slacks and pull on her yoga pants after a long day.  

But there’s a more important reason I wanted to write you this letter.  

You Inspire Me. 

You remind me of why I work in the office building to begin with.

To ensure my children get the CHOICE.  To be limitless in opportunity.  To be President of the PTO or President of the United States. 

To follow dreams without the debt.  

To be truly present during the limited time I get with them in the evenings and on the weekends.

To stay in shape and eat well so I have the energy to do this life.

To follow you on Instagram and steal all of your incredible birthday party ideas.  

My kids think I’m amazing because of you.  They think I can do it ALL because of you. 

You help me make it look easy.  

When you help me with the carpool because I’m traveling for work, again.

When you host the most epic sleepovers.

When bring our family fresh baked cookies.

When you babysit so my Hubby and I get a date night.

When you love my children like they’re your own.

When you tell me how amazing I am and encourage me to keep going.

You help me to BREATH when you invest some of that precious time in me.

Us mamas need each other.  There’s so much more to life we can enjoy when we offer a little grace and invite someone new to the circle. 

Our kids become best friends and the cycle continues.  

Just know…..I can’t do this life without you.  Thank you.

You help make me a #rockstarcareermom.

 

 

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One Response to To the Stay at Home Mom. Love, the Working Mom.

  1. Avatar
    Nicole Ketner June 13, 2019 at 7:24 am #

    Just like every working Mom looks different every stay at home Mom is different. We made the choice for me to stay home with my children. And I’m so glad we have a choice, but we don’t have a retirement, we live paycheck to paycheck. Never buying new clothes, lives with one car for years. Never leaving the house or reading it because that is money. Not going on lots of play dates because I have a lot of children. And I don’t have time to spend talking to other Mom’s all day. Like I said it is my choice and money is our sacrifice. I think all
    Moms need to just love on each other Because as I would love a break and maybe a babysitter at least once a year bring a Mom looks different for everyone. Being a Mom is a blessing no matter how much money, how many kids, how many cars you have. Kids are the reason we do it all!