What do you do? As a Type A, I tend to go into denial mode, build up a tough exterior, and then clean and organize everything in sight. BUT I have learned through life and counseling that this is not healthy.
When I was younger, I thought you could only get your heart broken by love. The older I get, the more I realize that other actions are equally, if not more, heartbreaking. Being let down by a friend or family member, being lied to, hearing of mistreated or unfortunate children, worrying about animals, elderly, and children whose basic needs are unmet. Hatred, prejudice, hurtful actions, and violence keep me up at night.
So what do you do? In this world where hurt is never ending, where divisions keep getting deeper, and where it seems we have lost our ability to respect others in spite of our differences, how do you deal with a broken heart? How do you mend a broken spirit?
I wish there was a bulleted list that could tidy up the messiness of this, but sadly, I am not sure one exists. I do have some steps I enlist when I have a broken heart of my own to remedy, and I want to share them in the hopes something will also help you.
- Pray. Yes, I always pray about everything. Everything, y’all. Sad news I hear, good news I hear, babies that won’t nap, sickness, tough decisions, etc. You name it, I pray about it. Sometimes they are brief prayers, sometimes they take up many many minutes. I pray out loud, I pray to myself. Sometimes I write it down, consult my bible, and find appropriate scripture on which to meditate. Meditative prayer, where I focus on a key word or phrase, is immensely helpful for me.
- Consult my inner circle. My husband, mom, and close friends. I have a handful of people I always talk to about things. I am an open person and value honesty, and if I trust you enough to come to you with a problem, I want you to tell me what you think, whether you think it’s what I want to hear or not. My wish would be for everyone to have an inner circle like this, where you have a safe zone and can either be pulled up by your bootstraps or kicked in the booty if needed. It’s always done with love, so even if it’s direct, it is coming from a great and wonderful place.
- I clean and organize. I know this isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, but a shiny kitchen makes me feel immensely better about life. Accomplishing things on my to-do list, even when I am hurt or sad or angry (or all three,) helps me realize I need to take my focus off of the bad and focus on what’s good (and maybe declutter along the way.)
- Write. I write. Whether no one reads it, I publish it to my blog or Northwest Arkansas Moms Blog, or I merely draft it in my head or speak it to myself, putting my thoughts together regarding a tough situation always helps me.
- Forgive. The hardest step by far. Forgiveness looks different for everyone, but it involves letting go and moving past what caused the hurt. It is so hard. I have to work on this daily. But the beauty and freedom of being free of carrying the weight of a grudge, friends, that stuff is golden. Trust me. It’s worth the self-exploration, the hard work, and the time investment.
I realize these things may not help everyone, but perhaps they will help you realize things you do that help you regain control of what seems like hopeless situations and help you focus on positive aspects of your life.
In closing, I wish I had the Ultimate Perfect Amazing answer for how to mend your broken heart, but I do not. I do know that by leaning on my faith in Jesus, my clean freak tendencies, and my love for written word, I can process my feelings and begin to move forward.
*Note: I am not a professional. If you are dealing with life altering issues, feelings, and emotions, please seek professional help. This article is not intended to replace the help of a professional.*