I am blessed with an amazing husband, who is a wonderful, hands-on father to our son. So this isn’t a knock on him but no matter how much help he is, there are just some things that dads get away with that moms can’t (see below). And so, for that reason, I want to be a dad when I grow up….
- Dad Bod: I am not sure who coined this phrase but I hate it. My husband constantly uses this on me as he’s sitting there eating candy and I am choking down a spinach salad. Obviously, there’s no such thing as mom bod but there is such thing as a mommy makeover (which requires hours of surgery) and shedding baby weight. Why is it okay for dad’s to get fluffy?
- Going to the bathroom alone: No matter where my son is in the house, he appears out of nowhere if I am headed to the bathroom. He opens and slams the door, he flashes the lights on and off, all while I am peeing the quickest I can. My husband? He can disappear for hours and my son never notices. In fact, I think he hides in there.
- Finishing your food in one setting while it is still hot/cold: I don’t think I’ve had a hot/cold meal at my house in 3.5 years. Seriously, my son always needs something or has to go to the bathroom as soon as I sit down with my piping hot delicious meal. By the time I come back to it, it’s lukewarm. You’d think this would help with my mom bod but alas, it has not.
- Dad Guilt (lack thereof): Have you ever heard about it? I have not. I am plagued with mom guilt – even over things I can’t control: work travel, work dinners, working out, girls’ night. Basically anything that requires me to be away from the house. My husband is somehow able to compartmentalize this and remains unaffected.
- The Man Cold: Out for the count with a sniffle while a mom will have strep throat and a 103 fever but will still get crap done.
- The Middle of the Night Waking: Do your kids call for dad? No. Why? He won’t hear them. My husband literally slept through tornado sirens, my phone tornado warnings, and the TV on the other night. I wake up if the air turns on.
- You get to be the fun one: I say no to everything – no more toys (ever again!), no more candy, no more chips. I go away for a few hours, I come home to new toys, chips and candy. But don’t worry, that kiddo of mine will be calling my name when his tummy hurts…
But I will say, even though I am jealous of the dad life, I am thankful Bray has a good dad. And maybe, I’ll remind him of the above things next time I need a hot meal or a bathroom break alone!